Posted by: dsduffy | May 17, 2010

What the future holds

Who knows? Nobody knows. Even the people who claim to see into the future, clairvoyants –  they don’t know shit either. Every single one of us, every last human breathing on this here planet does not know what the next second, let alone the next year of the life has in store for them. We can plan ahead and think we know where we will be and what we will be doing, but that doesn’t mean that some other thing will come along and change the whole direction of our lives.

So when people ask one of the top 3 questions “How long are you going to stay here?” which is often followed by “Where will you go next?” I have to hold myself back from screaming  HOW THE HECK DO I KNOW? Of course we have a plan, an idea even, but WHO REALLY KNOWS. I guess they really do mean how long do you PLAN on being here. That is a better question. That one wouldn’t piss me off so much.

I’m sure most of us have a plan. An idea, and maybe even a pipe dream of where we want to be. Some people secretly scour real estate websites of houses in places far away, bookmarking the ones they really love, daydreaming about their car parked in the driveway. If  we look back in time and compare our lives now to what we thought it would be, I doubt it is the same. Maybe we have turned out better than expected, or in a place where we still wonder “what am I doing here?” Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be living in Melbourne Australia with a great husband and 2 fantastic boys. Never. But boy am I glad that I was open to an experience like this. That the branches of my life led me here. Because this is where I am supposed to be right now. And who knows how long we will be here, or where we will go next, and not knowing is perfectly fine with me.



  1. You have a way of putting what many of us are thinking into perspective. ;0) Most people do not go through life with both eyes open. It’s amazing what you can see when you are in the moment.

  2. I hear you my friend and know exactly what you feel and mean. Sometimes it is a bit weird not to know what will happen next. But then again life is an adventure and facing the world openly brings so many exciting experiences every day. I am so happy that you ‘ended up’ here for the time being!

  3. I come from a family in the midwest that lives a sort of Norman Rockwell small town way where nothing much ever changes. It is/was a pretty limited existence growing up, where everyone just does what they have always done. When I talk to them they have nothing new to share. When I go back to visit it feels like the same trip repeated. I think when I was young this held me back from realizing the possibilities in life, and it stayed a part of me, even though I moved out west from my family state as a young adult. People there now cannot imagine moving to another country half way around the world like we have done.

    I think my point is that this move has made me realize that people could open their minds to the possibilities in all areas of their lives more…….I wish I had much more and sooner. It doesn’t have to mean moving half way around the world but could just be in small ways……..grow and try new things.

    We also don’t know how long our move will last or know what the future holds……..even if it for a short time… was worth it.

    I can understand your annoyance with being asked “how much longer” all the time………why do we have to know? Why does life always have to planned out? Maybe your standard response should be “we are winging it”. They may get bored with the response and just stop asking.

  4. Very nicely said! I feel this way many times when asked the same question…and also find myself guilty of it when I do meet other expats. We do not have a clear indication of what comes next for us either but I do know that this experience has been a GREAT lesson in patience and flexibility for me. I am a bit more relaxed about not knowing what comes next and am do a fairly good job of enjoying the time we have here now.

  5. And now you know how military families feel. 🙂 I get so tired of answering the same questions every 3 years with a different group of friends but I wouldn’t change it at all. Moving around has given me some great life experiences and I have met some wonderful people along the way. Enjoy the rest of your time!

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