Posted by: dsduffy | December 16, 2008


I know when I write things like my last post, they are going to hit some of us pretty hard, namely my sister & mom. But I didn’t expect for my nephew to be affected the way he was. It makes me sad that he was upset, but at the same time, it is nice to know that he misses us too. I just hate that us being here doesn’t just affect us, it affects our entire family & friends. It makes me feel selfish sometimes, taking away Cameron & Jake from their family, and making the tables smaller at holidays. I know the reality of it: it is only 2-3 years, but still I can’t help but feel bad sometimes.

I haven’t had a total meltdown yet, some tears of course, but I haven’t been the crumpled up mess that I thought I would be at this time (holidays).  I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t let myself “go there” as in: thinking about it too much.


  1. I read the title of your post, Emotional, and for some reason, (I know, I’m weird and I do this sometimes) I broke into song; “I get so emotional baby, every time I think of you, I get so emotional baby, ain’t it shocking what love can do…” Maybe this was some kind of comic relief to keep myself from crying again, or maybe it is really because I am so unbelievably happy for you!

    So, no need for you to be expecting a meltdown, just keep enjoying this incredible experience that you have so bravely embarked on. Go on those weekend trips you have planned and see all that you can in AU. Be a little selfish, then come home, as we will all be waiting for you to make “our tables bigger!” Love ya, Stephanie

  2. We all do miss you guys, no question about that, but I think we are all wishing we had the strength to have the adventure you are experiencing. It’s not about sadness, meltdowns or anything else, it’s about LOVE. So, be a Duffy, suck it up, and you have the best adventure possible. Look at all you have accomplished as a family in only 3 months! You Go Girl! We are all sharing your adventures and loving it. C’mon, it’s not like we still don’t talk to each other as much as we always did anyway, and MA. wasn’t around the corner either! lOVE YA! Mommy ;0)

  3. hi.. sorry I need to say this: your story is so depressing!!! I think you have a great skill for writing, so I keep coming to read you blog, but.. for having experienced 3 years in the US, and being embarked in 3 more years here, in Melbourne, far from my family again (in France), I can tell you, if you go on an expatiation, you need to really want to make a break from your family!!! you need to truely want it, you and your husband. I have the feeling that you are not in a state of mind for living abroad, and I want to tell you: go home!!!! life is short. If being here is not for you, go back home. I’m sorry I had to say it, I know it’s your space here, and you are totally right to express yourself, but, this is just my point of view, with my experience. I don’t think you will be able to make it here if you haven’t decided: I want to take some time off from my parents.

    • Sophie: At first I was taken back by your comment, but after thinking about it, I realized that to people who don’t personally know me, it may seem like I am overly sad at times. BUT I have only been here for 3 months, and it is taking me some time to get used to everything. Kudos to you for being able to “make a break” from your family, but we are pretty close and it is a big adjustment for me. Even though we didn’t see each other all the time back in the US, we knew it was only a 5 hour drive. (5 hours seems so close now!) Going home is not an option for me (leave husband here? kick renters out of my house?) I appreciate your opinion, you are entitled to it.

  4. yess.. sorry.. I know I expressed myself in a not very tactful way.. I didn’t manage to say it differently.. because I felt so much sadness.. It made me feel bad for you. It’s true that at the beginning being away from the family is an adjustement.. I’ve been here for 3 months too, but I’m used to living abroad, so it certainly helps. I’m close to my family too, but I find that the relations we have now are deeper, because we see each other less often but more intensly. I hope you enjoy your Australian life and find good friends that will be like family! — Again, let me congratulate you for your writing, have you ever thought of writing a book?

  5. Hello. I’m also an American expat living in Melbourne, I think around the same age and from the same area. Your blog is listed on an expat site. Anyway, I’ve been here over a year. Have travelled a lot and lived abroad. But moving here is hard. I was miserable for at least 6 months. I left NYC and missed it and my way of life very badly. While I missed my family as well, we don’t sound as close as you and yours. My father is a pilot so I guess I was used to not seeing parents 🙂 It sounds like you’re doing great. Getting a job will help. Trying not to compare or think about what you’re missing does too. And remember, a few years will fly by. I married an Aussie so I’m trying to last long enough to at least get my citizenship. You’ll be home before you know it so look at it as an adventure and take if for what it is 🙂 Holidays are hardest btw. I don’t like Christmas here. Sorry this is rambling… I’m on my phone on the train 😉

  6. Danielle–I am so glad that others think you are a good writer–even people that don’t know you! I told you that you should write a book! Sophie’s email was harsh…you are doing great–I absolutley look up to you! You have made so many friends in such a short period and you do not come across as depressed by any means! You are on an adventure and taking in each and every day. Go Danielle–wish I was as strong as you!

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