Posted by: dsduffy | January 23, 2012

Be careful what you wish for

Apparently the universe reads my blog. I make one mention of possibly sometime in the future thinking about maybe looking for a job. And I mentioned it in a casual conversation at a friends house and what happens? The very next day I get a phone call and an email of a job description. A job that seriously? Could not be more perfect for me. So yea, be careful what you wish for.

Watch this space for what could possibly be the announcement of me having a J-O-B, something I haven’t had since 2004. That’s a long time!

Posted by: dsduffy | January 15, 2012

Plans

We all make plans. To meet a friend for lunch, go to a movie with our spouse, to take the car in for service. There are long-term plans as well, where we want to be in ten years, when we will have kids, where we want to live. Before I had kids I always said I wanted to stay home with them until it was time for them to go to school. Being that my kids are two years apart, that gave me roughly seven years to serve as a stay-at-home mom and be as involved as possible in their lives. Well the time seems to have come, quicker than the speed of light I tell you, because in less than three weeks my two boys will be heading off to Primary School. All day. Together. Leaving me at home. Alone.

Yea. So this is the part where I should be polishing up my resume. Scouring the internet for jobs, networking with friends, looking for a J – O – B. BUT I am not. I should be doing these things. Maybe once school actually starts, and I have taken the biggest deep breath, the biggest sigh ever. Then maybe I can sit down and focus on what I want to do with my life. Maybe then.

Posted by: dsduffy | January 10, 2012

Walking in someone else’s shoes

A toddler wears her mother’s heels, clomping around the house.  Sisters fight over the same sweater. The little brother wears his big brother’s hand-me-downs. We start out early wearing other people’s things; dressing up in costume, pretending to be a superhero, a princess, or a policeman. Is it the desire to feel like someone else? To see what it is like to be that person? To be something we are not? We’ve all done it, time and time again. And then we grow up and it doesn’t happen as often. We may still dress up for a Halloween party, or a themed costume party from time to time as adults. Or for our jobs we may have to wear a uniform but that becomes part of who we are, it is not pretending to be someone else.

I often think about how it would be to be someone else, wondering what their life is like. (No, this does not mean I am not content being ME, but of course we all wonder…) And on the other hand, I wonder if others are curious about what it is like to be me, living across the planet in a place that not many people in my “other life” have seen. I try my absolute best, through this blog, to give people an idea of what my life is like in Melbourne, living here as an American expat. I don’t know how good of a job I am doing, but I hope I am able to portray our lives clearly, as I know most of my friends and family won’t be able to see if for themselves.

For the record, our day-to-day lives are pretty normal. I had a friend that moved to Dubai for a few years with her family and I was amazed, I wondered what it was like for her. Not that Australia is the same as Dubai, but I can imagine she created a regular life for herself and her family, making things feel as close to “normal” as possible, even though she was living in such a different place.

I’m so thankful for the many modes of communication that are available to us in this day and age. With a click of a button I can be FaceTiming with my sister, or my kids can log in to XBox Live and play NBA basketball with their cousins who are 10,000+ miles away. Emails, Facebook and the good old-fashioned telephone are all ways to keep people in our daily lives, so they don’t had to wonder what it’s like to walk in our shoes.

Posted by: dsduffy | January 9, 2012

Camping: a sensory experience

Each morning while lying in the tent, my ears were filled with foreign sounds. Birds, other campers, rain. Being away from the sounds of the busy street right out front of my house was such a delight. I didn’t miss the concrete, the buildings, the screeching tram turning the corner down the block. The early morning ducks flying overhead and the laughing kookaburras, I felt like they were laughing just for me.

The freedom my boys had: being able to hop on their bikes and ride down to the playground all by themselves. There is no way they could do that where we live, there are too many busy streets to navigate. The nature they experienced: building dams in the river, climbing trees, looking for fish.

Stepping out of our element, even just for four days, has completely re-energised our family. I could see all our shoulders relaxed. I didn’t feel compelled to always be doing something. My kids could just play, making up games, creating their own world. Being with other families, all working together make it all that much easier. If we didn’t have something, it was likely someone else did.

Yes we all got dirty, we stayed up later than usual and ate not-so-healthy food, but we were together and had fun. We worked together as a family and created memories for our children.

There is much more to camping than just sleeping in a tent in the middle of the bush. It is being away from the comforts of home and living simpler. It is about being together and having fun.

Posted by: dsduffy | January 3, 2012

A camping we will go

Yes, you read that right. Camping. For those of you that know me in real life, you know I’m not much for camping. I mean, I did go to sleep away camp back in the 80′s, and I guess sleeping in a “bunk” is kinda like camping,  but it isn’t the same as a tent (think walls, and ceilings!) Plus, I wasn’t a parent back then, I was barely in charge of myself, let along other people.

I’ve been camping a few times before kids, and once with kids for only 2 nights. It rained that time, and let’s just say I wasn’t the happiest camper (haha!)

But! This time around, I am going with a major positive attitude. I am. Honest. It’s going to be FUN and I’m going to like it. I am not expecting the best behaviour from my kids, I am expecting them to get dirty and be up late, and it will just be fun.

I’m going to be one happy camper.

Posted by: dsduffy | December 31, 2011

Time flying

It must be the #1 sentence spoken by parents of young children. “Time goes by so fast!” and  ”I wish I could hit the ‘pause’ button sometimes.” We’ve all said it, thought, wished it. We stare at our kids faces, trying to turn what we see into a permanent vision in our brains for years to come. But then our kids faces change, and the visions in our heads become fuzzy. So we resort to looking at photos. And again, we all react the same:  ”Look how small you were! You’re so cute! And, what was up with my hair?!”

Time has been going by at the exact same speed since, well, the beginning of time. But when we are at different stages of our lives, it just seems to go faster, or slower.

My aim in the next year is to focus on the present time. Not so much about the future, because the present is where I am right now, and I don’t want to miss it.

Happy New Year!

Posted by: dsduffy | December 29, 2011

The thumb saga

Well the good news is that my boy’s left thumb will heal on its own. No surgery needed. THANK g-d! Our experience at the Royal Children’s Hospital was very positive, besides waiting for an hour for our appointment, but I guess that is just normal. A brand new hospital was just built and it is quite amazing. There is a massive fish tank, meerkats (yes, real meerkats!) many artsy things, sculptures, and indoor and outdoor play areas. It  was designed with families in mind, complete with an ice cream shop!

After speaking with the plastic surgeon and getting another scan, it was confirmed that his bone will heal on its own. We just have to keep the splint on it, keep him from bending it, and try our best to keep him off his bike and scooter (that’s going to be hard!) We go back in three weeks for a follow-up.

Posted by: dsduffy | December 21, 2011

Another trip to the hospital

Today was meant to be a day for me and Jake to spend together, since it is the only day he is out of school and Cameron is still in. We were going to go to the market, have a nice lunch, hit a playground, just hang out. Well, we did get to hang out, allright. But spending all day at the hospital wasn’t how I planned it.

It never is though. Driving Cameron to school, I parked on a street I never park on, it seemed emptier than usual and there were plenty of spaces close to the gate. I noticed one of Cameron’s friends across the street and figured it would be nice to walk in with him and his family. I got out of the car and heard the blood curdling scream from Jake. I ran around to the other side of the car to find him crouched down holding his left hand, screaming in dire pain. I asked him what happened, in between screams I heard the word “door.” I tried to get him to show me the injury, he wouldn’t let me and we crab crawled over to the curb. At this point, Jake had let me have a peak and I saw blood and a shaking little hand. I remembered Cameron’s friend was across the street and yelled to the dad to come over and help.

He ran over with his oldest daughter to assess the situation. The daughter helped Cameron, making sure he had his school bag and kept him out of the way. I only had a few tissues so we wrapped his thumb up and the dad suggested I take him into the school to the front office to see if they had a bandage or some ice. I was so thankful to have his help, he threw my car keys in my pocketbook and closed my car door for me. I would have left them in the ignition and the door wide open otherwise.

Off we went to the office, I said a quick goodbye to Cameron and made our way inside. The nurse isn’t on duty until after lunchtime so the front office woman just had a look and gave us a band-aid and an ice pack.

On our way back to the car, Jake was still crying, in a way that I knew it was more than just a bruise and a cut. I made the decision to take him to the hospital. I stopped home quick for some snacks and the very important “night-night” (blanket) and made our way to the hospital.

After a very long time waiting, the x-ray showed a break on the tip, and the ER doctor suggested we go see a plastic surgeon to make sure the bones are not shattered. If it doesn’t heal properly, it could end up being deformed – we don’t want that! So our next step will be to see the plastic surgeon in a few days. (Isn’t Christmas in a few days?)

I’m trying not to kick myself for not just walking Cameron to school today.

Posted by: dsduffy | December 19, 2011

The strangest week

There are so many things going on that I can’t comprehend them all.

School: Jake is finishing Kinder (pre-school) and will officially be a Preppie, starting school in Feb. Cameron is finishing Grade 1 and will be moving onto Grade 2 starting in Feb. Both boys will be in the same school together for the first time ever.

Holidays: Hanukkah begins Tuesday night, something we haven’t done properly since moving here. I stupidly didn’t take my grandmother’s menorah along with us when we moved here so we didn’t celebrate the first year we were here (2008.) The next two years we travelled back to the States and just ignored the holiday altogether. This year? I went and bought a menorah and have been discussing the holiday with the boys, they are psyched to be getting presents, I am looking forward to trying to remember the prayer.

Christmas then follows, where we will spend the 24th at our friend’s house eating and celebrating. The weather is meant to be 30 (86f) which is just so strange for Christmas! But we will enjoy every moment of it. 

Seasons: Summer is here. Summer to me as a kid meant going to summer camp. Unfortunately for my kids, that is not an option here, or at least not that I know of. Most Aussies travel over the summer, spending time overseas, or at their holiday houses at the beach. We plan to just hang out at the beach, do some day trips, and have a 4 day camping adventure.

Not knowing our future (where we will be and when) this could be our last summer here, so I am going to enjoy it like it is. But then again, isn’t that how we should all be? Living every day like it could be our last? Nobody knows their fate, even though they think they do, they just don’t. I’m accepting this fact and just living for today.

Posted by: dsduffy | December 13, 2011

Expat Advice: A guest post

I was contacted by Blog Content Guild about doing a guest post on my site and I figured, why not? Here is a great article about Staying Connected, something that is so important for us expats! Enjoy!

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Expat Advice: How to Stay Connected With Your Overseas Family for the Holidays

 

For two years (2008 to 2010), I lived in Reykjavík, Iceland with my husband and our young daughter. I had lived in Southern California for my whole life before that. My husband’s company decided to relocate, so we followed them. Needless to say, moving to Iceland was a huge adjustment, but it was exciting too. Every day felt like an adventure. Over the weekends, we went to flea markets, ate fish and chips, and swam in a really cool geothermal pool, among other things. Being isolated from everyone and everything I knew besides my husband and child helped bring our little family closer together.

 

The hardest part of moving, I discovered, was the holidays. I missed my mom, dad, sisters, and grandparents. Because of the nature of his work, my husband didn’t have much time off in December. I didn’t want to be away from him for the holidays, so I stayed with him in Iceland every Christmas we lived there. With the help of some great parcel delivery companies and other resources, I was able to stay connected to my overseas family during the holiday season.

 

Here are five things you can do to feel close to your loved ones when you’re far away:

 

1.  Video chat on Skype. This is essential. Skype is a great way for you to be able to actually see your family and feel as though you’re with them. If you have older grandparents or parents who have trouble with the technology aspect of using Skype, you might have to walk them through the process of setting it up on their computer over the phone. If their computers don’t have built-in video cameras, they might have to invest in some webcams.

 

2. If you want to ship some presents overseas affordably, research different couriers and find one that offers reasonably priced services. One way for you to save money on shipping costs is to get all of the presents sent to one location/address, if possible. If you know most of your family will be at your parents’ house over the holidays, there’s no need to send the presents to several different houses.

 

3. Take lots of pictures, and ask your overseas family to do the same. Technology allows us to send pictures to each other whenever we want to. So, take lots of pictures of your holiday experiences, and send them to your family. Your family can reciprocate and send you pictures of their holiday experiences and send them to you.

 

4. Start a blog and write about your holidays. Your parents or siblings can do this too. Sometimes written words do a better job of capturing holiday magic than pictures and phone conversations do. You and your family members could also all set up Twitter accounts and give each other updates on holiday happenings.

 

5.  Try to synchronize what you do, even if you’re thousands of miles apart. You could open presents at the same time. Although, this could mean that you’d be opening presents at midnight while your family in the States opened presents at 8 a.m. If this is unrealistic, you could try to coordinate other activities to feel connected. For instance, if your mom and dad were cooking ham and mashed potatoes for a holiday dinner party, you could cook that exact same dish. You and your parents could then send pictures of your respective dinner tables to each other.

So, get creative and stay in touch with your family over the holidays. With all the technology available, there’s no reason to feel isolated from your loved ones if you’re living abroad

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